Call It What You Will

Liar. Wishy-washy. Uncommitted. Procrastinator. Anti-social.

These are names I’ve either given to myself or I would’t put it past that others have given to me. Nor can I say that I blame them.

I could offer up excuses about my new job (but it’s become less new yet the love of the work and constant deadlines has made me somewhat of a workaholic) or how my husband and I have opposing schedules and, as luck would have it, the days that coincided were also the days that people wanted to get together with me or, even, how I’m trying to scrape time and work on finishing a novel. But, I don’t want to offer up excuses.

You don’t want to hear them. I don’t want to give them.

So, instead, an apology. A sincere apology.

For those of you who have reached out to me and have asked to get together in 2011, that meant a lot. Thanks. I still value our friendship and while I’m whatever you want to call it, you’ve earned a real special place in my heart.

New Year = New Me?

Contrary to what this blog was leading up to, you would think that my New Year’s Resolution would be to hang out more and get in touch with friends. Well, no.

There I go again, hurting people’s feelings and making others feel less important.

But this year I give to myself and my husband to cherish time together, make time for ourselves and to be loving enough to ourselves to try new things and not be upset if the venture doesn’t stick. Ok, that last one was for me.

Read Between The Lines

What I’m not saying is this (I cringe as write this but it’s the truth): I’m not a rugger anymore.

Everything I said in my Ignite Phoenix speech was true. Damn, I loved being the feminine chick that would love the opportunity to tackle your ass on the rugby pitch.

But reality hit me this past Fall season: I wasn’t as good as the other players (by a lot!) so I slowed down plays, the plays were complex (no wonder they are a Division 1 team — when I played rugby (in college) I used to write an “L” on my left hand and an “R” for my right hand, for crying out loud! — it dawned on me that I could get hurt and maybe in college I didn’t care but now when I bump in to my car door results in a beautiful bruise, I care.

So, in 2011, I learned that I love rugby and I was a rugger. Yes, past tense. It’s ok. Chapter closed.

Bring on, 2012!

Not sure what this year will bring (an apocalypse, maybe?), but I’m wishing for you what I’m wishing for myself: success in your endeavors, the freedom to try new things, good health and to never doubt that you’re loved.


2 thoughts on “Call It What You Will

  1. Great post, Martha. Coming from someone who also loves their job and spends quite a bit of time in the office, you are smart to take a step back and recognize the importance of time with your family. Time is precious and while our wishes for more time in the day to get everything we want to do done go unanswered, it’s imperative to make the most of the time we do have. Sometimes that means being “anti-social” or a homebody, but that’s ok. No one thinks less of you, and if they do, perhaps they aren’t the friends you thought they were.

    • Thank you so much, GirlTurnedRunner. I felt guilty and torn about writing this post but I’ve been feeling this way for awhile. Thank you so much for your kind, supportive words. They mean a lot. :-)

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