Wheezy Waiter Story Pitch

I’m a beardlover.

I may have mentioned before that I enjoy the works of Wheezy Waiter. Don’t know who I’m talking about? Hang your head in shame.

Here’s the blogpost wherein I described meeting Wheezy Waiter and then proceeded to be unable to carry a conversation. It’s impressive.

So, some time has gone by, and as a result I’ve had time to think about how it might have gone differently if I wasn’t such a ——. I would like to think that I would have pitched a story idea for an upcoming video.

Enter Free Will (AKA a Revenge Clone)

The majority of the clones do their chores and then jump in to the alligator pit but some have stuck around — sexy clone, quiet clone, corporate clone …etc.

But what if one clone went rogue? He wasn’t quite evil, so much as he wanted to taste freedom. Be his own man. Ok, he was evil. His name is Revenge Clone! (I admit I just learned of Revenge Clone today).

Externally, he seems sweet enough by doing nice gestures such as bringing Wheezy Waiter freshly squeezed lemonade — or better! — bringing the coffee once the coffee was done. However he did these things to get closer to Wheezy Waiter; in order to better study him from his mannerisms to all the Driftless Pony Club song lyrics.

An Opportunity Presents Itself

Revenge Clone overhears Wheezy Waiter while he’s recording that the band is going on tour and sees the opportunity to put his plan in to action. This part is a little underdeveloped and so I would leave this to Wheezy Waiter’s creativity as he would be able to make this funny as opposed to dark and uncomfortable.

An Impostor Amongst Us

As the real Wheezy Waiter, sadly, remained behind in his apartment, Revenge Clone sat in the van breathing deeply. The air tasted of freedom. But the bandmates noticed something wasn’t quite right with their friend. Many inside jokes went over his head.

What is rawk sock? A collective gasp.

They ask themselves what they should do. Does he need to see a doctor? But the tour! They decide that the show must go on but they should also monitor their friend. Revenge Clone also notices that the bandmates are acting strangely. He must act cool. He overcompensates. The band is even more worried, but the show is that very night. They decide to perform and the very next morning to seek some help.

An Odd Twist

As they get up on the stage and perform their set they notice something different. Revenge Clone can wail! The women in the audience are screaming, throwing their unmentionables and some even swoon. The men raise their fists and their red solo cups. At the end of the set, the audience throws roses on to the stage.

Choose The Ending

So the bandmates are presented with a choice — do they keep on performing or do they confront Revenge Clone and see what has brought this change in their friend and to learn that he is indeed an impostor?


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