As ye may or may nay be aware, today be th’ wonderful an’ glorious day: Internation’l Talk Like A Pirate Day! Celebrate wi’ me this day t’ honor yer inner swashbuckler an’ th’ need t’ pillage an’ loot.
Not sure how t’ e’en begin? Worry nay me heartys, I be havin’ all th’ tools ye need t’ succeed an’ t’ become th’ best gentleman o’ fortune (that`s a fancy way t’ say “pirate”) in all o’ history.
First ye`ll need t’ get yersef a sea dog name. Martha will nay do. Ye will now refer t’ me as Bertha The Bloody. Get yer Shipmate Name.
If ye need help findin’ th’ starboard words on accoun’ o’ speakin’ ye`re a wee rusty from nay speakin’ like a sea dog (that’s another way t’ say “pirate”) since last year, fear not help be on th’ way with this here English-to-Sea-Dog translator!
Then when ye get aft t’ yer homeport, safe an’ sound from a long commute, reward yersef wi’ a rum cocktail.
And please do nay let me hear ye say that ye wouldna like t’ participate in our wonderful celebration as ‘t would break me heart an’ moreo’er ye may find yersef at th’ bottom o’ th’ ocean, that, or since I live in th’ desert (an’ nay near a great body o’ water) I’ll refer t’ ye as a Son of a Biscuit Eater! [Check this glossary on gentleman o’ fortune terms.]
Bertha the Bloody!