Wheezy Waiter Story Pitch

I’m a beardlover.

I may have mentioned before that I enjoy the works of Wheezy Waiter. Don’t know who I’m talking about? Hang your head in shame.

Here’s the blogpost wherein I described meeting Wheezy Waiter and then proceeded to be unable to carry a conversation. It’s impressive.

So, some time has gone by, and as a result I’ve had time to think about how it might have gone differently if I wasn’t such a ——. I would like to think that I would have pitched a story idea for an upcoming video.

Enter Free Will (AKA a Revenge Clone)

The majority of the clones do their chores and then jump in to the alligator pit but some have stuck around — sexy clone, quiet clone, corporate clone …etc.

But what if one clone went rogue? He wasn’t quite evil, so much as he wanted to taste freedom. Be his own man. Ok, he was evil. His name is Revenge Clone! (I admit I just learned of Revenge Clone today).

Externally, he seems sweet enough by doing nice gestures such as bringing Wheezy Waiter freshly squeezed lemonade — or better! — bringing the coffee once the coffee was done. However he did these things to get closer to Wheezy Waiter; in order to better study him from his mannerisms to all the Driftless Pony Club song lyrics.

An Opportunity Presents Itself

Revenge Clone overhears Wheezy Waiter while he’s recording that the band is going on tour and sees the opportunity to put his plan in to action. This part is a little underdeveloped and so I would leave this to Wheezy Waiter’s creativity as he would be able to make this funny as opposed to dark and uncomfortable.

An Impostor Amongst Us

As the real Wheezy Waiter, sadly, remained behind in his apartment, Revenge Clone sat in the van breathing deeply. The air tasted of freedom. But the bandmates noticed something wasn’t quite right with their friend. Many inside jokes went over his head.

What is rawk sock? A collective gasp.

They ask themselves what they should do. Does he need to see a doctor? But the tour! They decide that the show must go on but they should also monitor their friend. Revenge Clone also notices that the bandmates are acting strangely. He must act cool. He overcompensates. The band is even more worried, but the show is that very night. They decide to perform and the very next morning to seek some help.

An Odd Twist

As they get up on the stage and perform their set they notice something different. Revenge Clone can wail! The women in the audience are screaming, throwing their unmentionables and some even swoon. The men raise their fists and their red solo cups. At the end of the set, the audience throws roses on to the stage.

Choose The Ending

So the bandmates are presented with a choice — do they keep on performing or do they confront Revenge Clone and see what has brought this change in their friend and to learn that he is indeed an impostor?

Meeting Wheezy Waiter

Standing in the back of the bar, just like a regular guy, was Wheezy Waiter. He was wearing a faded Star Wars t-shirt, so faded that you really had to look at it to make out what the design was. He’s right there. Do I go over and say hi? What the hell would I say? I would totally geek out. I’m geeking out right now!

Long Wong’s in Tempe is not a large place and so I think he noticed me from two feet away and that I was looking in his direction and I’m sure it made him uncomfortable. It would make me uncomfortable.

Finally, I walked over and waved (like a dork) and said I was a big fan. Decent start. I think he thanked me and I asked if it would be ok if I could get a picture with him. He said sure. So I did.

Exchange over, right? Wrong! Then he started up some small talk with me. I was SO not prepared for that. But he’s a cool guy and asked me where I was from and how to pronounce “Tempe” — was it “Temp-EH?” or “Temp-EE!” I laughed and said that it was with the “ee” sound but he would be fine in pronouncing it on stage with his band Driftless Pony Club.


And then, as predicted, I didn’t know what else to say and walked the five steps back to my seat. Yea, it was pretty epic.

Wait, wait! Are you telling me that you don’t know who Wheezy Waiter is?

Ugh, that’s awful. You’re really missing out on so much. Things like alligator pits, explosion Wednesdays (if they were a thing), loving when the coffee is done, how eagles are really annoying and how awesome it is to have clones to do your chores.

Don’t You Get It?!?! I Met A YouTube Celebrity

Still not making sense? Then you need to mosey on over to Wheezy Waiter’s YouTube channel and watch a couple of videos. At first they won’t make sense but don’t let that ruin the creativity that ensues from Craig Benzine’s (actually Wheezy Waiter) mind and that he acts out in his apartment, in Chicago or when on the road.

Doing What You Like Leads To Other Great Adventures

Wheezy Waiter, I’d venture to say, loves making videos. Otherwise he wouldn’t have created 543 videos and amassed 40 million views of said videos.

Additionally, he engages his audience with their comments, video Q&A chat rooms, video responses of blinks, contests … the list goes on.

And if he had not created videos day in and day out (even when no one was watching or when the content was so silly that he might have been discouraged from continuing) then he would not have established the loyal fan base that he has today. He may not have been approached to do a Ford commercial, which first introduced me to Wheezy Waiter/Craig Benzine.

This video:

While using Wheezy Waiter as his medium, Craig was featured on the well-received Orabrush YouTube commercials/branded channel, acts on the side with the Platoon of Power Squadron and tours with his band — Driftless Pony Club. Things that many of us just dream about doing and while I know this blog entry is more fan-girl than I would like, I have to admit that I do admire his drive, creativity and being able to witness that from one fun project stems other fun projects/videos.

If Nothing Else, Watch This Video

Below is a Choose Your Own Adventure video that showcases Wheezy Waiter’s creativity, combines his band’s fans with his own brand and makes the content interactive. Plus it’s fun.