How To Do A Safari-Themed Pub Crawl

Have you ever done a pub crawl — wait for it — as a zebra? Well, I have!

This Saturday was the Super Secret Safari Pub Crawl held just for rugger, Cootie. Why? Because she’s going to do something awesome this summer. Go to Africa and help with water conservation.

While we’re happy for her, she will be leaving us (boo) and thanks to Quick Draw we were going to send her off properly with booze and costumes (yay!).

Pre-Pub Crawl: Hunting Down the Outfit

Zebra prints — that’s “in” now, right? No. Very much, no. Absolutely not.

When anyone else would’ve abandoned the plan and picked up some shirt with the blue snow leopard print that’s in style right now, I stuck with. I felt like Billy from “Family Circus” when he treks all over town — one Goodwill Donation Center (no store), 98 Cents Store, an actual Goodwill store, Michael’s, Clothing Co. and Styles For Less.

I was going to hunt down the outfit and I was going to do it on the cheap.

How To Become A Punk Ass Zebra

I mean that in a good way.

The Zebra Outfit

• Zebra tank top – $11 at Clothing Co.
• Zebra ring – $6 at Styles for Less
• Leggings – already owned.
• Bangles & Hoop Earrings – already gots
• Boots that are fierce and kind of hoof-like – already had, but in case you want some too – Charlotte Russe
• Black nail polish

Tip: Goodwill is awesome but don’t go if you’re looking for something specific. Go with no expectations.

Zebra Mohawk-Inspired Mane

I have curly hair and a lot of it. The goal was a mohawk but with very little time and too much hair (I may not have been able to sit in my car with all that sticking straight up) I fashioned the following ‘do:

1. Flat iron your hair. Bone straight.
2. Put your hair into three (or more) ponytails — one at the base, in the middle and the last pretty high.
3. For the last ponytail, pull the hair at the base so it flows out like a fountain.

The Super Secret Safari Pub Crawl In Action – Pictorial

While I’m quite proud of my get-up, these wild animals were very creative. Most made their own costumes and rocked it.

I know what I’m up against now. Going forward, it’s going to be mohawk or bust.

Oh, and to answer the question posed at the very beginning — “How To Do A Safari-Themed Pub Crawl” — the answer is to become friends with a rugger and/or become a rugger yourself.