The Effects Of Talking Like A Pirate

September 19 was International Talk Like A Pirate Day. A made up holiday that is both silly and loved — by me. And I missed it. I missed the opportunity to talk like a pirate and make a complete “arse” out of myself.

Or write a stupid email to your boss

Never Too Late To Be An Arse

Ne’er ‘ave I uttered a more true sentiment. Blimey, I exercise me right to be an ‘arse e’ery day an’ e’ery night. But me bucko, if ye be wantin’ to hear of me tale of how I was an ‘arse to me Cap’n, weigh anchor here for a spell. Names ‘a been changed in me “email.”

But first! Methinks ye be needin’ a preface to this exchange. Aye, this be a note to me bucko, me matey, but beghads the bilge-sucking exchange was mutinous to me Cap’n who found it an’ upon readin’ it was ready to have me flogged with the cat o’nine tails and then feed me to the fishes.

The Exchange

Allo Matey

This here would be me pirate-themed email in celebratin’ of International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Anyway, life be stressful now, having more to do with me wedding an’ plannin’ o’ bit. What a fiasco! I should be countin’ me blessin’s though. All are happy for me and me mate but there are some blaggards with different opinions of what me day ought to be like.

Aye, an before I be forgetting … me last day on this addled “ship” be the end o’ the month. Two weeks. Can ye believe it? I had told the Cap’n that I could stay on deck as long as December. Help with the crew and train me replacement. Savvy? Well, nay, I return from a spell on land and they informs me that all’s shipshape and I be gettin’ the rope’s end by end o’ month. Me replacement ought to be comin’ in the 27th.

Well, sink me! That day I return an’ find all hands on deck rearrangin’ the furniture and how me station been moved to the poop deck (copier room). How easily we been replaced, eh matey? Curses on them ….

The Outcome

Pretty craft email, no? Not so crafty was how I sent the email to my friend and former co-worker’s work email address thinking I sent it to her personal email address. The pirate-themed emailed re-routed into my boss’ inbox.

How would a pirate say “awkward”? That was, at best, how it was working from then on. And if I had not already been given the two-week boot this certainly would have been what done me in.

So let this be a warning to you about the effects of talking like a pirate and talking poorly of your employer and then sending said email to her instead of your friend. Maybe, it’s more of the latter.